The Sight Of My Demise …

In a room of my life,
On the bed of my death,
I see tears in my eyes,
I see the pain I never knew I had;

On the walls I see words
Fallen into tight grips of silence,
Words filled with weeps and hurt
Caused by my life’s malignance;

I see bleeding wounds on my soul
And deep cracks on my heart,
So empty and cold
My spirit is broken apart;

Look at this fraying smile,
It hides lies, frowns and many tears;
Touch this broken mirror for a while,
It has tortured me for years.

The floor is stained by anger and pain,
Making me feel much less alive,
Filling me with gloom and hate
Is this sight of my demise.

You Don’t Know ..

You don’t know what it’s like
To suffocate on your own thoughts,
Wishing you’d end your own life,
Wishing you’d just die and rot;

You don’t understand how it feels
To try your best in the bleakest vain,
To drown in the deepest creeks
Of tears seeping from the cracks of pain;

You don’t know that feeling when
You try your best to hide
Behind many shades of pretense
Only to end up broken inside;

When you’re drowning,
Numbed by the piling hurt,
Sorrow constantly pounding,
Silenced by utter loss of words;

You just don’t know.

This Anger In Me …

Tremulous,
Engulfed by sheer rage and fear,
An emotion disastrous,
It’s anger, an unholy cage of tears;

Had to learn to smile
Through my heart’s wrath,
Frightened, yet carried by pride,
Hurt, hating the soil upon which I tread.

In my bones
Filled with intense hatred of self,
“Leave me alone,
Let me take away my useless breath;”

Unable to speak,
Annoyed by people who “understand;”
Where is the joy I seek,
When will this misery end ?

Lost In Paradise

In the open field of my dreams
I hear your cries and screams;

I hear you calling my name,
“Daddy reach for me,”
With a voice inflicting so much pain
And gloom of utter lonely.

In the laughters of my joy
I hear the sorrow in your voice;

I hear your heart breaking,
Shattering non-stop,
A sound too heartbreaking,
To you I wish I could walk.

In the silence of my peace,
Your voice just won’t cease;

Music of frowns and weeps,
So profound in its notes
Or rather depressing and deep.
Murder I fluently wrote.

The hopes of seeing your brown eyes
Got me lost deep in paradise.

Never Forget …

When you were down,
Scared that you’d drown,
I held you up,
Kept you from getting numb;

Flooded by sorrow’s rain,
The hurt and emotional pain,
I was your boat,
I was there to keep you afloat;

When suicide whispered to your soul
The promises of freedom untold,
I helped you see through its lies,
Through its deceiving eyes…

When you were cold and alone,
Left to die on your own,
Never forget who saved you
From hurt’s dreaded sorrow pool.

Far Away …

I reach out to you
Try to reach back, I beg;
I call out your name
But it’s sad ’cause no one’s there;
Following the traces of your tears
I realize they lead me to nowhere;
Please come to me
In twain we were mistakenly cleft…

I hear a saddening sound,
A sound of your cries from afar,
It’s fading, fading, slowly fading…
Please tell me where you are;
I sense your sorrow in the air,
This feeling breaks me apart;
I feel your heart breaking,
Piercing your soul’s old scars…

Where are you,
Do you hear the words I say ?
Voice even a single word
And I will come your way;
Please! I need you here with me,
‘Cause you’re so far away.

Pain Is All I Know

This heavy rain
Failed to wash away
Pain of yesterday;

I slowly frail,
Left to seek a way
To escape this feeling of dismay;

This chaos has me drained,
No matter what I do or say
I just break asunder and fray;

I’m tightly chained,
Everyday is the saddest day,
My life is sad and gray;

By life I’m very tamed,
Longing hope, even its single ray
Would be just okay;

I need to find the gate
To a place where joy prevails,
Where real smiles exist and reign …

This Broken Mirror

This broken mirror
Reflects my pains,
The hurt and sorrow
Flowing through my veins,
And the wounds of anger
That left my soul stained;

This broken mirror
Speaks of the truth I dread,
Repeating its speech
Again and again,
Clearly describing the
Vague picture of my death;

This broken mirror
Casts a shadow of sorrow,
A cold loom of
The hollowed morrow,
Broken smiles and fallen laughters
In the days to follow;

This broken mirror
Shatters even more,
As it shows the hate
In my own reeling flaws,
Lurching imperfections
That never dare to fall;

This broken mirror
On my cracked wall,
Is a merchant of misery
And pain to all.

Taste My Tears

Longing,
Begging for peace,
Seeking
Some subtle ease..

Emotions turning
Me to one whom I do not know,
Tears burning
The surface of my soul…

Hold my hand
And feel the cold;
My joy depends
On feelings unknown…

Touch my skin
And heal the wounds,
Touch it please,
For my smiles make some room…

Taste my tears,
Taste the pain
And all the fears,
As they dry in the rain..