I’m Okay

I cry behind the smile you see
Nothing is really what it seems,
Behind this mask I break and weep
But hey I’m okay…

The silence is loud all around
I fail to hide away this frown,
On pain and anger I’m tightly bound
But you know I’m okay…

I can’t find myself in this darkness,
It’s all such a mess,
Standing it is the hardest,
I am still okay…

It hurts so much, being this sad
I can’t even rest,
By this anguish I’m being had;
But don’t worry, I’m okay…

I’m fine, I really am,
Nothing is wrong,
I just want to see the end
Of this saddest song.

The Feeling Of Suicide …

The demon on the beckoning noose,
The whispers of a razor unused
Promising freedom from these chains,
Protection from this flooding rain;

The frost of the coldest night
Hovering over depressed minds,
A touch of Grim on a broken soul
With a scythe sharp and cold;

A brutal dagger in a beating heart
Twisted to tear its life apart;
Breath fading behind the darkest shadows,
Fading, fading in the silent hollows…

It’s life hauled out of your insides,
It’s the dreaded feeling of suicide.

Hello Daddy :)

Hello Daddy,
I hope you remember me,
I’m your baby;

How I miss you so;
This place is dark and cold,
I have no one to hold;

It would be so nice
To feel the warmth of your smile,
To feel it even for a short while,

But you didn’t want me in your life,
You longed for my demise,
You wanted me to die…

Good thing your heart
Taught me to forgive even when it’s hard,
Even when it tears me apart;

Never forget me, father,
I would have been a good daughter,
Or maybe a son, bigger and stronger

And on your last day say my name,
Say it to take away your heartache
On the day you do not wake;

I love you so much dad,
It even makes me sad
‘Cause I’m the child you never had;

Tonight, for you, I will pray
To the Lord and say
“Please, give dad a happy fathers’ day…”

Poetry…From My Own Point Of View.

A soothing song of a saddened soul
Sounded to speak of joy and sorrow untold;
It’s a melody of the heart
When shattering, getting torn apart;
Music of feeling
Sang to exude freedom and healing…

Water washing away the sorrow off my skin,
Yet I’m drowning in it, I can’t even swim;
Words urging hurt to surge sternly
Yet worth being spoken of repeatedly;
It’s a mask concealing my low self-esteem,
Causing a smile to hide away my weeps…

Poetry, imagery reflecting emotion,
A motionless painting depicting internal commotion;
It’s silence caused by my pen’s ink,
Unfathomed thoughts my broken heart thinks;
Fountain of well spoken expressions
Even when the soul is swollen by depression…

It’s poetry.

Ashley Rose

She screamed behind a masking smile
Lived under so many sheets of pretence,
Breaking down from the inside
Her everyday was rather intense;

A child from a good family
Beaten and treated like trash,
“I told you to feed me!”
And with that she’d get slapped,

“We’ll make your life a tragedy,”
Kicked on the tummy as she wept,
“Why don’t you listen Ashley?
Bring your lunch and all the money you have!”

Girls raging and flaring with brutality
Abusing a child voiceless and sad;
With nothing good in her reality
She decided to reach for the end.

Without a shred of confidence
Self-conscious and hurting,
She decided to heal the pestilence,
For the pain was harsh and burning;

Hanging from a tight noose
She left a letter saying “I quit,
My life had no use,
They made it a big ball of shit…”

This is the story of Ashley Rose
A child who was forever bullied,
Who took a path she never chose,
And had her life ended and buried.

Untitled

Lonely hovers in a crowded place
Bringing tears to my frowning face;

Devoid of all sense of serenity,
Defeated by sorrow surging within me;

Clad in a cloak of depression,
Sad from being soaked in its oppression;

My mirror arouses strong self-loathe
Causing me to be more suicide prone;

Fear engulfs all my sanity
Silencing happiness in its touch of vanity;

Experiencing pain I’ve never felt,
“Nobody knows how I really hate myself…”

Wallowing in heartbreaking sorrow,
Cold, hoping not to see tomorrow…